Remembering

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

I am always amazed at how God gives me just what I need to read or hear at just the right time.  The verse above was the passage in the reading today in a devotional called Mornings With Jesus.  

I thought the timing was perfect for this passage.  August 6, 2003 was the due date of our first baby. Reading this passage on this day reminded me of the pain we felt when we had the miscarriage and the love and comfort we received to help us during this time.  I have always felt one of the things I learned from this time was caring for others as they go through loss and trying to be a small comfort to them.  

I will always remember this day and think about our first baby who is in Heaven.  

Have a day of blessings!
  Bethany

Thankful Thursday

Today is a special Thankful Thursday because it marks 15 years of marriage for us.  My heart is filled with joy to be married to my best friend for 15 years. We are two imperfect people joined together by God.  I'm so blessed to be his wife and walk through this life with him at my side.  Thank you, God, for my wonderful husband!

Today I am thankful for....
~ 15 years of marriage.  What a blessing God gave me in my husband!

~ enjoying my big boy in his first week of summer vacation.  He's so helpful and fun! He got to go camping and fishing this weekend.

~ our baby boy trying out his little tiny pool he got for his birthday.  We put it on the porch for him.  He did not want to get in but would lean over and splash and think it was funny when his Daddy would spray his brother!

~ a good check up at the dentist for our 6 month appointments.  I'm glad we have such a nice dentist and staff too.

~ finding out I am part of the launch team for a new book called A Different Beautiful by Courtney Westlake.  I was so excited to find this out on Tuesday night!

~ going to the library with my boys.  I love that they both love books.  This will be one of our regular stops this summer.  Caleb is already reading a lot.

Have a day of blessings!
 

14 years

On this day 14 years ago we said "I do."

I'm so thankful God brought us together our freshman year of college. I feel blessed to be married to this wonderful man who is my best friend.

It's been quite a year for us. When we celebrated our 13th anniversary, we had no idea we'd have a new son this year!  Throughout my pregnancy my husband was wonderful in his love and care for me.  I found myself just amazed at all he would do. He'd work all day, and then come home and do whatever needed to be done when I didn't feel like doing it...laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, dishes, anything. He listened to my worries and let me cry when I needed to.  I appreciated his excitement about my pregnancy and the coming baby. He took me to all of my doctor's appointments which was three hours away. He continually prayed for me and the baby to be healthy.

Now that our baby boy is here he continues to shower me with love and take care of us all so well. He changes diapers in the night. He sings our boy to sleep. He makes time for our big boy, continuing to do the things together they did before the baby came. He has done laundry, ironing, cleaning, grocery shopping,  taken our boy to school...all things I normally do for the family...but he has taken over as I recover.

God gave me a special gift in my husband. This last year I've found my love for him continues to grow deeper.  I'm thankful for this day to remember our beautiful wedding day and our vows we made to each other.

"A cord of three strands is not easily broken."  Ecclesiastes 4:12

Have a day of blessings!
 

First post of 2015

A new year and the second year anniversary of Meemaw's passing.  It does not seem possible that it has been two years really. Time just goes so quickly it seems.

As I think of her I am glad for the memories I have of her and the things Caleb knows about her.  We all three often mention something she would say in different situations and that makes us laugh.  I know she would be happy about the new baby, and I'm glad for the memories Caleb can tell the baby about her.

I know as time continues to pass I will continue to miss having her here with us and being able to share things of my life with her.

Have a day of blessings!
 

11

Today we remember the due date of our first child.  That child would be 11 this year.  Even though it has been 11 years, I know I will always remember this day because that first pregnancy and first baby was such an important part of my life and our marriage.  So much about me changed as I see it looking back.  I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that God gave us that time of pregnancy and the dream I had before the miscarriage. 

When I think of this day, I will always remember our first baby and feel thankful.  I think there will always be a little sadness in my heart.  I know over the years the feeling of the sadness has changed.  But there is always the thoughts of wondering about all the things we never got to do or experience with that baby. 

Also, my heart is continually filled with thankfulness at the way God blessed us one year later with our son. 

I saw this quote and I thought it was fitting for today: 

 I am forever changed

for having known the gift that was you.

I miss who you were,

who you would have become

and who I was going to be,

but I am a better person for having known you,

if only for a moment.

Author – Unknown

Have a day of blessings!

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. What would you say is the key to success?  Trying your best and not comparing yourself to others is a good start.

2. Have you ever been to the Florida Keys? Any desire to visit that part of the US of A?
No I have not been there but would like to visit someday.  A FB friend posted pictures of their Florida vacation, and I thought we should go that way some year.

3. When and where did you last see a real live donkey? Monkey? Turkey? donkey--I often see donkeys in fields as we are driving. 
 monkey--I guess at the zoo but I don't remember when that last was.
 turkey--We usually see some at a produce store we visit here out in the country.  Every time we go there Caleb starts making his turkey call and calls them up.  He thinks it is neat they come when he calls!   
4. An old Portuguese proverb says, 'Beware of the door with too many keys.' What do you think this means? Share an example of how this has proven true or false in your own life. I have never heard of this proverb so I looked it up and was surprised at all the things that popped up.  To me this means be careful in your choices and if you have a bunch of different options in front of you, be sure to choose wisely.  The easiest is not necessarily the best. 

5. Besides your home, vehicle, and special jewelry, what is something you keep under lock and key?  birth certificate, marriage license, papers about the vehicles, and some savings bonds

6. When did you last get keyed up about something?  my son's upcoming birthday party this weekend and getting everything ready for that

7. Who thinks we need an easy one right about now?  Key lime pie...yes please or no thank you? No thank you, I don't know that I've ever had it, maybe a bite of my husband's.

8. Insert your own random thought here.
We are looking forward to Caleb's birthday party.  He has helped get things ready for it, and we are just about ready! The house is just about cleaned, and we are going to the grocery store Thursday.   It will be Saturday afternoon with a Duck Dynasty theme.

Also, today is the anniversary of my first due date for the first baby we never got to meet. I had a miscarriage at nearly 11 weeks.  That baby would be 11 this year.  Then the next year God gave us Caleb!   

Have a day of blessings!

13 years!!

As we celebrate our 13th anniversary, I have been thinking of memories we've made together.

...our first walk, our first date and the roses you sent me on my birthday.

... the comments made by our grandparents when we were introduced.

...  our wedding day. Driving by campus last Saturday and seeing a couple in their wedding attire smiling for their pictures made me think of our own special day . What a beautiful, perfect day it was.

...the many times God has provided...our first apartment, my first year teaching job (in a town where schools were closing and teaching jobs weren't in abundance), you getting your first job, my doctor who helped safely deliver our son, our home selling in 10 days, having a temporary home while we waited on our home.

I think of what a blessing you've been in my life for these past 13+ years.

....the joy it brings me daily to see your constant dedication as a father. You didn't miss a doctor's appointment with me during my pregnancy.  You continue to show such dedication and love by attending our son's programs, caring about his interests, and doing things with him daily.

... the way you support me and have always supported me. You've always shown me your support of my dream to be a stay at home Mom, and you continually remind me of the importance of what I'm doing and how much you believe in me and value me.

... the ways I've seen you grow and always continuing to learn. You are a good example to me in that and have taught me so much, more than I could ever begin to write.

...how you always know just what I need. I'm amazed at how well you read me every single time. Every. Single. Time. That's truly such a blessing.

Our marriage and friendship is a treasure to me.  These are some things I treasure....

.... From the time we took our first walk, we've both been able to totally be ourselves with each other.

... The way you are committed to me and our marriage and family. I do not take your commitment to me or my commitment to you lightly.

...  All our times together...our happy times, laughing times, sad times, crying times, silly times, quiet times.  I love our time together

... The way you know what I'm thinking. Just last week as I looked into your eyes when you came home from work, you said aloud sentence for sentence, word for word what I was thinking. You do that all the time and I treasure that about you.

I'm thankful for our 13 years of marriage. I love you. I respect you. I cherish you. I value our friendship and relationship. I'm honored to be your wife.

Happy Anniversary to my best friend. I love you!

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  Ecclesiastes 4:12

Have a day of blessings!

One year

Today is a sad day of remembrance for our family. On April 19, 2103 I found out I was having a miscarriage, our second miscarriage...our third child.

We've made it through all the firsts. Since we passed my due date back in November, I've been thinking of all the things that would be different if a baby was in our family. There have been so many things I've missed and thought of the "what ifs." 

I suppose Easter will always remind me of this pregnancy. Last year Easter was at the end of March, and we revealed the news to Caleb that he would be a big brother with an Easter scavenger hunt. His last prize was a wrapped box containing a big brother shirt. We watched the video of his reactions earlier this week, and I will forever cherish his excited shouts that day. I'm so glad we decided to tell him so he could be part of our happy secret for a couple of weeks.  Then on Easter we went to tell my Mom. Now this year Easter weekend is on the anniversary of the miscarriage.   I remember thinking last year how Caleb would get to teach the new baby how to color eggs and we'd have fun finding them outfits for Easter.

It still is unreal to me that I was actually pregnant again. The pain has eased, but it never goes away completely.  My heart is healing; I've kept a written list of moments I feel were part of my healing over the past year.    Once again, just like after our first loss, I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned through this journey. They've been different lessons from the first time. I still don't understand and have many questions and have gone through so many up and down emotions. I know though God cares about me, and I love Him.  I continue to hold on to that.

Today I remember a year ago and am thankful for those who have supported and loved us through the pain.

Have a day of blessings!

January 13, 2003 was a Monday also

January 13, 2003 was a Monday also.

I'll always remember the details of that day 11 years ago.

I'd started spotting on Sunday, a little over 10 weeks into our first pregnancy. We prayed and hoped it was nothing. On Monday my husband took me in to the ER. They told me I was having a miscarriage.

I don't remember physical pain so much as he heartbreak I felt and the unsympathetic, uncaring actions of  the hospital staff.  (And I can say that it really made a huge difference to me during the second loss when the doctor was so kind and compassionate, such a huge contrast to the first loss.).

I remember going through Taco Bell for lunch cause that sounded good to me at the time. We went home, and my Mom came. There were cards and flowers and hugs and lots of tears. I did not understand and was just so heartbroken for our loss.  I remember when my Mom and I went to the local Subway a couple days later for me to get out and see how I did. Then by Thursday I went back to my classroom.

I can't even imagine how I went back to my class. The principal told me to take as much time as I needed.  I remember feeling that my "teaching heart" had changed. I remember coming out in the hall and seeing the PE teacher (who was due a month after me) showing other teachers her sonogram picture.  I wondered how I would ever go on with my daily life when everything had changed for me.

I remember being surprised how some people acted and the things some people said. I remember feeling like everyone else went on with their lives and that my world had stopped.

Now 11 years later, even though I clearly remember the details of that day, I can say that my heart has healed. It feels different on this day than it has in recent years, I suppose due to the second miscarriage we had in 2013 that is still so fresh in my heart and an experience that was totally different than my first one.

This isn't something I can change, and the loss will forever be part of who I am. I learned so much because of the experience.  I am thankful to be able to look back and see those lessons and see how things fit together.

As women we all grieve and remember differently. I think that it is important to realize there isn't necessarily a right or wrong way to do this. Others who have been there may offer suggestions to those beginning their walk down this road, but each woman has to do what she needs to do to grieve. The important thing in my opinion is to make sure you let yourself grieve and not try to push it all away or pretend you are fine because that isn't healthy.

This Monday I am remembering another January 13. And I'm thankful for the ways God has healed my heart in the past 11 years.

Have a day of blessings!

For Meemaw

It's been a year since you've been gone, and I honestly can't believe how fast the year has gone or all that has happened in the past 365 days.

I guess now we can say we have made it through all the "firsts" without you.  As so many things made me miss you, I realized how much you meant to me and how thankful I am for my memories of you.

I still am not used to not writing a letter to you every week, and I always think of things I'd tell you if I was writing you a letter.

At Valentine's Day I got out our small tub of decorations and burst out crying when I saw the window clings I had purchased on sale the previous year to cut and mail to you.

In the spring I ran into Walgreens to get an ad and came out crying because they had Cadbury eggs on sale. I always watched for them on sale and would buy you a couple every year.

When we decorated for Christmas I found all the engraved ornaments you'd given me through the years.  One said "To: Val" and that made me laugh and cry. It reminded me that you were always so proud of me, and I realized how much I appreciated you believing in me. 

When I'm in a store and see something knocked off the shelf, I catch myself picking it up like you did and I realize you taught me to take the time to help others with this small act.

When I see some little trinket or magazine you gave us, I remember your giving attitude and how much joy it brought you to give and how you didn't want things in return.

When I see someone walking down the street I remember how many years you did without a car (by your choice) and your slow pace, and I'm reminded that I need to slow down and pay attention to my surroundings.

So many things will always remind me of you...upside down stamps on envelopes, singing "I'll Fly Away," banana splits, peanut butter, window clings, Wheel of Fortune, and chocolate covered cherries.  I'm thankful for my memories and am thankful for the time we had together through the years.

Have a day of blessings!

Missing someone I never met.....

11-1-13....A day I've been dreading for 6 months.  A day that looks much different than we expected it to back on March 25, the day we found out we were pregnant again.  A day that is the third due date I have had and the second one to come without a baby. 

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in April.  We found out I had a blighted ovum.  I didn't even know what this was prior to this.  And even though I don't understand how this happens, in my heart this will always be a baby to me. 



This song has replayed over and over in my head over the past few months.  It has been harder for me the closer we got to this day.  As we would turn the calendar each month since April, my heart would sink a little as I knew we were one month closer to November, one month closer to all of the things that don't get to happen that we so wanted to happen.....No announcing the name we chose.  No seeing big brother's face when he meets his sibling for the first time.  No photos with happy family  members.  No tiny little head to wear a tiny pumpkin hat.  No dirty diapers.  No counting toes.  No figuring out new baby cries. No nursery to decorate.  No singing lullabies.  No "coming home from the hospital" outfit. No cousin pictures. No newborn in our family pictures we take every November.  No extra Christmas stocking to hang on our mantle.

This time last year I did not even have a baby on my radar! This pregnancy was a surprise, and we were excited as the realization sank in.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel real that I was pregnant for 12 weeks.  It is amazing to me (as it was with my first miscarriage) how those 12 weeks forever changed my life. 

We watched the movie "Facing the Giants" recently.  My husband and I had forgotten the couple in the movie struggled with infertility.  At the beginning they are talking and the wife says.....

"Grant, I'm still clinging to a hope that one day we'll have children. I imagine them running in this house. I hear them playing in the backyard. Or running to our bed in a thunderstorm. And I think about reading them stories and teaching them songs. And I just keep thinking; how can I miss someone so much that I have never met?"

That is exactly how I feel.  How can I miss someone that I've never met? 

I have learned a lot through the experience as I did from our first loss.  Everyone is hurting in some way, and I've learned we can't compare our hurts.  We can't know the pains others are feeling because everyone has a different life story and situation.  But when we realize everyone has a hurt they are facing, hopefully we can be more caring, more concerned, more encouraging, more sympathetic.   

So many people have helped me these past 7 months--My amazing husband who has never stopped loving me, wiping my tears, letting me talk when my heart was overwhelmed or sometimes saying nothing at all. My sweet boy who has given me countless hugs when he saw the tears in my eyes and asked knowingly what was wrong. He has amazed me with his sensitivity and the things he notices that would possibly make me feel sad (and he's usually right). My family who has encouraged and loved me and not forgotten us.  My friends who have been encouraging to me, many times without even realizing how what they say or do touches my heart when I need a lift.  Our wonderful church family who has been there for us and helped us through the grief.

I told my Mom I had dreaded November 1 coming, and she told me to remember my blessings.  So I did that throughout the month of October.  I typed an email draft of two or three blessings I'd noticed in my days and added to it throughout the month.  And that focus on the blessings did help me.  I still had my sad times, but it encouraged me to do this activity all month long. 

My heart hurts.  I know that doesn't ever go away completely.  From our first loss I know that the pain changes as the years pass, but there is always that one missing, that one we wonder about.  And now we have two that we miss and wonder about.  We don't know the reason or why, yet we trust God and know this is His story.

I know that "long beyond the empty cradle" I will forever carry those 12 weeks in my heart. I'm thankful to God for carrying us the past 6 months and continuing to carry us today.     

Have a day of blessings!

10 years

I couldn't let the day go by without writing a post of remembrance today.  This was the due date of our first baby back in 2003.  I can't believe that little one would be 10 years old this year!  So much has happened in the past 10 years.  I still wonder what that baby would be like and think of all the things we have missed doing with her.

I never would have thought in 2003 that I would have another miscarriage in 2013 either.  It still amazes me how I was pregnant for such a short time with that baby and my life has been changed forever.  I'm thankful for the things God has taught me through our losses and how He has helped me along the way.

Have a day of blessings!

A dozen years

A dozen years ago today I married my best friend.

A dozen years ago I could never have imagined the love we share today.  It is just so amazing and can't even be put into words.

A dozen years ago I would definitely not have written parts of our story the way it has been written so far.  Yet I can look back and see how the story is fitting together better than I could have imagined, and I know God's plan is best, even when we don't understand.

A dozen years ago I never knew the unexplainable joy of having a son nor the pain and heartache of losing 2 children we never got to meet.

A dozen years ago I didn't have the same relationship with God that I have today.  I have grown in Him because of your example and teaching.

A dozen years ago I dreamed of being a stay at home Mommy someday and volunteering at the school.  How thankful I feel that that dream has come true! 

A dozen  years ago I did not know the grief and pain of losing our grandparents who played such an important role in our lives. 

A dozen years ago I did not realize fully the fun we would have together or the way you would always figure out how to make me smile.

A dozen years ago I had no idea how blessed we would be to walk this parenting journey together.

A dozen years ago I could not grasp the blessing being your wife would be.

A dozen years have passed and I have so many memories I cherish.

Thank you God for these dozen years of marriage and I ask you to bless our marriage and continue to guide us as we walk this journey on earth.

Have a day of blessings!

A month

Today it has been a month since we found out our sad news about the loss of our baby.  A day we had anticipated with such excitement because we would get to share our secret will now be remembered as a day of sadness.  It's been a hard month, but at the same time I can tell that my heart is healing.  It feels different this time around compared to the first loss.  I am not sure why really but have several ideas at the difference I feel this time.

It took about two weeks for me to get to where I felt like doing things again, and I have been through many "firsts" since the miscarriage as I have gotten back to my routine once I healed physically.  The first time going back to church. The first time going to the grocery store by myself.  The first time eating Tuesday lunch with my husband (this was particularly difficult and I sat in the parking lot and cried).  The first time going back to the school to volunteer.  It's been weird what things bother me and make me cry.

I miss so many things about being pregnant. I miss that fixing lunches for my husband and son no longer makes me gag.  I miss feeling my stomach growing rounder.  I miss doing the pictures with Caleb to show how big the baby would be each week. 

I wanted so badly to share the pictures with our family that we had taken to announce our news.  I wanted to hear that heart beat so much.  I wanted to be to 16 weeks on Friday when I went on the field trip with my boy's class.  I wanted to figure out how to fix the baby's room.  I wanted to feel those sweet baby kicks inside me and share that with my husband and son.

I don't understand and have so many "whys?" at this point.  However, I am praying for God to show me what I can learn through this experience.  There were specific things I learned through the first loss that I still think about today, and I pray to learn new things because of this loss. 

I'm thankful the healing is beginning in my heart and those who have supported me this past month.  I can feel that I am healing.

I read this quote (source unknown) when I was looking at poems about loss and miscarriage.  I liked it and wanted to share. 

Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?

Have a day of blessings!

A day to remember

It is always touching to me to read the stories and hear the memories of 9-11-01.  Memories held closely of a day that changed us forever....changed us as people, changed us as a nation.  I have seen many thoughts shared on blogs and Facebook today.  We saw the flags around our neighborhood as we drove to school this morning, the flags at the school blowing only half way up the pole today as we pause to remember.

Today I am remembering those who lost loved ones on that day.  I wonder how drastically their lives have changed since that day.  I wonder what they do on this day to pay tribute to their loved ones.  I wonder if they have found a new "normal" for their lives. 

Today I am remembering those who bravely went to the scene and served, risking their own lives to help.  So many heroes.

Today I am remembering those serving our country far away from their family and loved ones, all for our country and our freedom.  Another example of heroes. 

Today I am remembering the unity that I saw exhibited all across our country on that day and the days following. It was such a beautiful thing to see everyone come together.

Today I am remembering what it was like before "9-11" was a common household phrase and realizing that my son will never know that "pre- 9-11" life as I knew it.

Remember with me today.

Have a day of blessings!

Remembering...

This is the date of my first due date.  We will always remember that time of pregnancy, even though it was so short.  We trust that one day we will see that baby again too.   

We have a tradition to get ice cream as a way to remember that baby.  Tonight when we sat down with our ice cream I thought the song on the radio sounded familiar.  It was "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away."  Then a couple songs later was "You're Gonna Miss This."  It made me smile to hear these two songs.  I thought both were appropriate to think about as we remember one baby we never got to meet and think of Caleb's upcoming birthday and another year passing so quickly. 

Have a day of blessings!

Our anniversary trip!

June 2 was our 11th anniversary.  My husband and I went on a little trip to the DFW metroplex.  We met my Mom Thursday evening and Caleb went to her house.  Then we went out to eat Mexican food when we got back home. 
We left on our trip Friday morning.  We stayed at the same hotel we stayed at last year.  It is a new La Quinta and very nice, clean and comfortable.  Plus we found a good deal online for it too!  I recommend it if you are going to be in the area. 

Friday we ate lunch at Steak & Shake.  We even got dessert, something we normally don't do! I had an M & M milk shake and my husband had a hot fudge brownie sundae. 

Then we went shopping.  My husband had told me for my birthday my gift was to find new plates.  I have been looking since then but haven't found any.  I was on a mission to find some.  Friday evening we ate at another Mexican food place.  When we went back to our room we went to the hot tub/pool.   

Saturday we slept late and went to some shops in Grapevine.  Vendors were set up on the main street, and we looked at those booths too.  We shared bbq for lunch and then went back to the mall and got the plates.  I couldn't decide for sure Friday.  I had wanted to go to a cupcake shop.  The one I'd found online in Grapevine was closed.  My sweet husband remembered the location of The Cheesecake Factory where he'd taken me last year so he drove to that area to try to find a cupcake.  Instead we found Nothing Bundt Cakes (which my  Mom had recommended when I told her I was looking for a cupcake place), and we shared a little chocolate chip cake. 

It was near The Container Store so we went to look there.  They were about to start a travel demonstration so we went to that and entered our name in the drawing for a $15 gift card for watching.  My husband's name was drawn.  He found one of the travel items they had demonstrated to buy, an Eagle Creek Pack-It Folder.  Then we headed to pick up Caleb. 

 We had such a nice time together.  It was wonderful to have time just the two of us!    

Have a day of blessings!

Eleven years

Eleven years ago I married my best friend.
I never understood what people meant when they would say how much more they loved their spouse now than on their wedding day.
Now I do. Our love is an amazing thing and I'm so blessed.
I pray daily for my husband using the topics in Stormie Omartian's book The Power of a Praying Wife. Lately though I've been reminded to pray more for marriage as it seems marriage is under fierce attack from many different angles. As I've seen the attack of the enemy in three marriages in particular in recent months, I have been reminded just how special marriage is and how much the enemy wants to destroy it. This year on our anniversary I am committing to pray more for my husband and our marriage as well as marriage in general.

Marriage needs to be valued, honored, treasured, and cherished. I think too often it is not.   Our society puts less and less value on marriage, and this troubles me on so many levels because marriage is something I hold so dear. 

Today I am thankful for my sweet husband and our marriage.  He is such a blessing to me.  It is hard to believe we've been married for 11 years already.  I love thinking about our wedding day and the special people that shared that special day with us. 

   A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Have a day of blessings!

'Tis So Sweet...

{Warning:  This may be longer than most posts as I share some of the story of our move and the circumstances related to that.}

Last night I was thinking that today marks the one year anniversary that we signed the papers on our old house.  Just 10 days after we put our house on the market we received an offer which surprised us to say the least.  After the offer and counteroffer, we signed the papers for the sell. 

I remember feeling totally at peace as we walked out of the Realtor's office that day.  It was an odd feeling in those circumstances of not knowing what was coming, yet being filled with the peace I knew could only be from God.  Looking back I cannot believe all that has happened since that day.  We didn't know, but we prayed, had faith, and trusted somehow God would work it all out. 

Things did not go at all as we planned when we put our house on the market.  We knew of some assistant positions that would be opening in the agency for which my husband works.  We did not know when they were opening, but we knew he wanted to apply for one of these.  We put the house on the market thinking we'd see if it would sell and really thought it'd take months to actually sell it.  We knew the house would have to sell if we were to move and we didn't want to live in separate cities.  But none of that happened as we thought.  Our house sold in 10 days and the assistant positions did not open.

Sometimes I'd have those thoughts of what if they don't open the new positions or what if he does not get one of them. I had plenty of times of doubts and frustrations when I couldn't see how everything would turn out.  We knew we couldn't see the full picture and had the "back up plan" in mind that he would just keep working where he was and if we were staying in that area find a new house eventually.

Since we didn't know what was going to happen, we moved to a temporary duplex which was amazing in itself.  We had looked and looked for a place to live and came to closed door after closed door.  The duplex ended up being near our old house and with a landlady who listened to our situation and expectations that we wouldn't be there for very long.  We still thought that the agency would announce the assistant positions, my husband could apply, and we would still get to move. 

However, all of that changed on July 29 when we found out of the tragic death of my husband's coworker M.    The coworker was the director whom my husband hoped to work with in one of his offices as an assistant. I remember the heartbreak I felt when my husband called with the news. It was so hard to understand, and we still have so many questions and grieve over this painful loss. 

So it ended up that my husband instead of being in an assistand position as we originally thought is now the director.

None of it happened as we thought it would.   Now today a year later we are here in a different city in our new house and my husband has a new job.  My mind has trouble processing all this sometimes.  Even though I never knew M, only the stories my husband shared from their work-related experiences, I now think of him and his wife every day.      

Last year we trusted that God had a reason for our house to sell so quickly, but never could have imagined it would be under these circumstances.  As for the assistant positions, it is weird to see that now at the beginning of this summer those positions were announced and opened. 

Today in church we sang the song 'Tis So Sweet To Trust in Jesus.   It made me smile as we sang the lyrics.  The past year we learned more about trusting Him.  I'm thankful that He has taught us we can count on Him and trust Him, even during the times when we can't see or have a clue.   

Have a day of blessings!
 

Thankful Thursday: Anniversary Edition

Today is an extra special day.  My heart is so full of all the blessings for which we have to be thankful.

First it is our boy's last day of first grade.  I wrote him a letter in the previous post with my feelings about this year.

And today, June 2, 2011 is the our 10 year wedding anniversary.  My husband is such a huge blessing to me.  The past ten years have gone by so quickly.  When we got married, ten years seemed so far away.  Now it is here and it has just flown!

I've been reminiscing our dating days, our engagement, and our wedding day.  I'm so thankful for those memories and the photos and videos we have from that time.  I like to think back to how we were then, the things we went through together, and how those things have shaped us and made us stronger. 

I am so thankful to have my husband by my side as we've gone through these past ten years.  He is truly my best friend.  We have grown so close through the years and our relationship seems to just keep getting better.  There are so many things I love about my husband.  He is such a great Daddy.  He accepts me.  He makes me laugh.  He knows when I need to talk and he knows how to make me talk and share my true feelings.  He works so hard to provide for our family and so that I can be a stay at home Mom.  He loves the Lord.  He does thing for me without me asking.  He prays for me.  He holds me when I need to be held.  He cleans my car for me.  So many things....big things and small things.  I just love him! 

The past ten years have been just so amazing!  I look forward to what is in store for the future. 
 
Thank you for stopping by for Thankful Thursday!  Have a day of blessings!