A Letter to Our Men
By Sheri Rose Shepherd
Bestselling Author and Bible Life Coach
A few years ago I was invited to address over five thousand
men at a conference. I was asked to express the heart of a woman and to show
the men how to better love and understand their wives. The topic they requested
was “What Women Want.”
To be honest, this particular invitation seemed very strange
to me since I am in women’s ministry and had been writing His Princess books.
I remember sitting at my desk and just staring at the e-mail
invitation, battling to believe God would open this door for me to address five
thousand men. Even harder for me to believe was that I could ever convince
these men to listen to me about what women want. I fell to my knees and cried
out to God, “Who am I to speak into these men’s lives about loving their wives?
What right do I have?” As I prayed, I felt my inward battle to believe being
conquered by an overwhelming desire to make a difference. I dared to believe
God would do something bigger than I could ever do on my own―birth a new beginning
between men and women.
My heart began to break as I reflected on the countless
women who had shared with me the painful places they had walked through with
the men they loved. These good women of faith had wonderful hearts and believed
in their marriages. Yet they had been left alone to defend themselves and their
children after their marriages were destroyed by infidelity, neglect, or abuse.
Even the women who were determined to remain married struggled to believe their
marriages could ever be truly meaningful and reflect real love.
As I continued to pray about accepting this invitation, God
brought back to my memory the painful night in my childhood when my dad
stumbled into my room with tears in his eyes and fear on his face. He knelt at
the foot of my bed and broke the news that he and my mom were divorcing. I
realize now that he had lost his will to fight and had no idea how to save his
marriage or our family. Next I thought about my own marital struggles and the
years of tears and trials it took for my husband, Steve, and me to rebuild a
solid foundation for our marriage.
In spite of my insecurities, passion and compassion
compelled me to take a step of faith. I surrendered to this invitation in an effort
to bring transformation to these men and their marriages. Once I committed to
the speaking date, I became desperate for God to give me the words, kindness,
courage, and wisdom I would need to stand before these men.
To my surprise, God gave me much more than that. He gave me
a letter of repentance I was to deliver before my message.
With that said, I invite you to read the opening letter on
forgiveness I delivered with fear and trembling before these men, which I
believe opened their hearts and ears to my message:
The reaction of the men astonished me. As I shared these
words, the room was completely silent; it was surreal and a little scary. I had
one eye on the paper and one eye on the men. It was as if each sentence lowered
their defenses, and by the time I said the last word, many of the men even had
tears in their eyes. Their faces seemed to say, “Please unlock the hero inside
me” and “Show me how to become the man I long to be for my wife and family.”
I took a deep breath and then respectfully asked their
permission to speak into their lives about their relationships with their
wives. I asked if I could help them understand the heart of a woman; to attempt
to explain how we are wired and what we need from them to feel safe, secure,
and loved.
I assured them my goal was to give them Christ-centered,
creative ways they could rescue, romance, replenish, and repair the women they
had possibly hurt. I was taken aback by their response: the men stood to their
feet and gave me a standing ovation before I even began sharing my message.
For more teaching videos from Sheri Rose, go to
www.biblelifecoaching.com.
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Have a day of blessings!
