I am reposting a post from January 13, 2008. It shares what I am feeling today. Today is the anniversary of the day we went to the emergency room and found out I was having a miscarriage. It's been seven years since that days. Seven years! That seems so long ago but I still remember that time very clearly.
Here is a portion of what I posted previously:
I'm glad we can remember. I'm thankful for what I learned during that pregnancy, even though it was so brief. I'm thankful for those who supported me in that time....the people I knew cared about us and who offered their prayers and support. I'm thankful for what I learned about being compassionate to others in the same situation.
It was very fitting to read this in a devotional book today. It is one of my favorites and think it is appropriate for this day. God made our first little one. Even though she isn't with us today we still know He created that body and knew all about that little short life. That brings me comfort. Today I will end with this verse:"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:13--16 NLT
Now it's been seven years since that day. I read something the other day that I knew I wanted to share on this day as I pause to remember. It was printed in a new magazine from Focus on the Family called "Thriving Family" January/February 2010 issue (which I highly recommend). My blogger friend Sheri posted the list of tips a few days ago so I'm going to just link to her and you can read them there. These tips are wonderful for anyone with a friend or loved one facing the loss of any child. I know losing a child to death is not the same as going through miscarriage in many regards, but in some ways the grief and pain are similar. So I share these tips with you from the article "2 1/2 Hours With Audrey."
Be sure to listen to the memorial song linked there as well ("Audrey Caroline"). Here are the lyrics. These lyrics are just beautiful and say so well what I felt so deeply at the time of our miscarriage. I still think of our baby and the things I didn't get to do with her and wonder what she'd be like and what her interests would be. It made me smile as I listened to this song to think of our baby in Heaven that God has been carrying her for me for six and a half years now. (I had a dream at the time of the miscarriage and have always felt that baby was a girl if you are wondering why I say "her.")
Thank you, God, for this day to remember our baby who we never got to meet here on earth. We know she is with you safe in Heaven. Thank You for the way that that time with her, short as it was by our standards, changed our lives forever. Thank You for keeping her safe, for carrying her for me.
Have a day of blessings!