Today we are remembering our first baby that we lost due to miscarriage in January 2003. She would have been four today (or around this time, this was my due date). We talked about her last night and this morning told Caleb what today was.
I was almost 11 weeks along at the time of the miscarriage. It was a difficult time for me emotionally. I feel I learned from the experience and know God had a purpose for that pregnancy.
I have learned that some people just don't understand. They say things that are maybe intended to be comforting, but they just aren't to the person who's faced a loss. I've learned to be careful what I say when someone is hurting but to make sure I do say something. Acting like the loss never happened is not a pleasant feeling.
I have learned how valuable a card in the mail can be during the grieving process. It still touches my heart to remember my first Mother's Day after our loss and the cards and gifts I received from special friends.
I have learned that people grieve in different ways and that's okay.
Sadly, in the past four years I've encountered many women who have suffered a miscarriage or multiple losses. My eyes were really opened to the pain of those around me because of our loss.
It was a joy to be pregnant those 10 weeks and know a little one was growing inside of me. I'll always wonder what that baby would have looked like or what her personality would have been. I trust God's plan though and know that even though I never held her in my arms, she is safe in Heaven.
(If you're wondering why I kept saying "her," I had a dream the night before the miscarriage.)
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Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
--Hebrews 11:1, 3, 6
2 comments:
I remember our "Angel Baby Girl" with you and have to agree, I miss her and wonder about her, but know she's safe in heaven waiting for us!
I remember her too, and I am honored that you let me be a part of the grieving process. :)
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