Those of you who know us or have read my blog know that we suffered a miscarriage in January 2003. This was our first pregnancy, and we were so excited to find out we were expecting, sharing the news with family members during the Christmas holidays. We were devastated when we lost our baby. We were surprised to be pregnant and then have that taken away so suddenly. Since I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), we wondered if we would be able to conceive again or have other miscarriages.
I remember several things about that time. Looking back I believe I was depressed during that time. When I went back to the classroom I did not feel I was as good of a teacher as I was prior to the miscarriage because something in me had changed. It is one of the most painful times of my life, yet I can honestly say now that God has used that pain to teach me and bring me closer to Him. Before the miscarriage I never knew the pain someone could feel over such a loss. One thing I learned is that everyone grieves differently with this kind of loss and that is okay. Another thing I learned is to be careful with my words when people are facing times of grief. Many people don't know what to say and often say hurtful things, I think often without realizing it probably. While I learned that words can hurt deeply, a third thing I learned in this time was the value of an encouraging word. I had many people who were supportive and praying for us, and it really meant a lot. Several people remembered me on my first Mother's Day and one friend sent me a special Mother's Day Precious Moments figurine.
When I hear of someone who has had a miscarriage now, my heart hurts for them as I remember my own pain. If you have a friend or family member who has faced a loss, remember their baby with them. Don't act like they were never pregnant. Ask how they are doing and show you care. Let them talk or cry if that is what they need. Remember special days like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and the baby's due date.
Thank you for visiting today for Marriage Monday. Visit Chrysalis and find others writing on a variety of themes related to infertility today.
Have a day of blessings!
