Book #16: The Language of Love

I finished The Language of Love by Gary Smalley and John Trent. This is an older book published in 1988.

The authors describe how word pictures can help build your relationships. Many examples are given throughout the book of how people use word pictures to speak volumes to a spouse, parent, relative, friend, or coworker. They can be used in any relationship really. When you need to express something to someone...either something they are doing right or something you want to see improved/changed....you can use a word picture. This will capture their interest and go right to their heart (usually) unlike pointing fingers, blaming, yelling, etc. You create a word picture to tell a story to the person, choosing an object relevant to their life. For example, if you have a dog lover you could create a story about the dog and make it fit your situation.

Let me give you an example from the book (not word for word, just so you have an idea of how this works). The husband tells the wife he wants to share a story and proceeds to tell her how lately he has started to feel like their dog. He wants to be out running and exploring and one day when he's loose digs a hole and escapes. He excitedly runs out in the free world, having all kinds of fun. He eventually tries to find his way home but runs into all sorts of trouble (chased by coyotes, nearly run over) Then he falls into a stream and is cold, wet, and hungry. Finally he sees some familiar territory that he is in the right direction towards home. As he approaches he gets excited as he sees the porch light left on and can't wait to get inside to be held, loved, and fed. However, when he whimpers at the door, the master comes out yells at him for running off, hits him with a stick, ties him back up, doesn't feed him supper, and leaves him out in the rain.

Since the wife has a deep attachment to the dog, she will be tuned in to the story right off. This word picture describes how the husband feels when he comes home after a day out in the world at work and is attacked by his wife for all the things he's doing wrong the minute he walks in the door.

I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading other books by these authors that they mentioned in the book.
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"Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." Hebrews 10:36, NLT