Book: The Five Languages of Apology

I finished this book this week. It interested me because I'd read Five Love Languages a while back, so I wanted to see what this one had to say.

Just as we all feel love and respond to love in different ways, we also have different ways that we give and receive apologies. If the apology is not given in your "language," then you won't accept it as such.

The five apology languages from the book are as follows:


1. Expressing regret--"I am sorry"

2. Accepting responsibility--"I was wrong"

3. Making restitution--"What can I do to make it right?"

4. Genuinely repenting--"I'll try not to do that again."

5. Requesting forgiveness--Will you please forgive me?"

When I first read the list I thought they were all fairly similar, but I can see the differences now. Since reading this book, I've tried to figure out which apology language I best respond to and which I use to give apologies. Through the profile in the book I discovered my apology language is "Making Restitution" followed by "Accepting Responsibility."

After the five languages are explained, the authors give examples of situations in which apologies are needed--families, marriages, dating relationships, the workplace, and to yourself. One chapter is also devoted to teaching our children how to apologize. It was interesting to read the many examples where relationships have been renewed once an apology was given in the language understood by the person who was hurt.

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"A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly." Proverbs 14:29