Friday, June 28, 2013

Healing after a miscarriage #3

This is the third post in a series I am sharing about things that have helped me through my process of grief following our miscarriage in April.  Here is post #1 and post #2.

At the time of the miscarriage we received many cards, calls, etc. to check on us and see how we were doing.  As time has gone on there have been fewer of these.  Also some people did not know about the miscarriage when it happened, so I've had to tell various people about our loss since that time. 

One day I went to the school to pick up some papers in the office.  This was one of my first times out of the house since the miscarriage.  Another Mom was there waiting.  I knew her from school events, and she casually asked how I was doing.  It was hard to answer at first, but I told her I was trying to be okay and that I'd recently had a miscarriage.  She did not know of our loss and offered her sympathy.  I didn't think that much about it and had forgotten about it.  Well a couple weeks later I saw her again at another school function.  She came up to me and specifically asked how I was doing. 

Later I thought about this and realized how kind it was that she made a point to ask about me.  I also realized how as time goes by it feels like people have forgotten about the loss.  It isn't something people want to talk about or know what to say, and I understand that and it is truly okay.  But when someone does ask, it helps and makes me feel glad they remembered.  I know that I remember the loss every day, and it means so much when someone asks how I am doing. 

It has also taught me to remember those who are going through loss and not forget about them months later because they are most likely still struggling.  Through our first miscarriage I learned the value of showing concern to others going through difficult times and the value of a simple card of remembrance in the mail.  I know many people who have gone through loss recently and because of my own loss I have been reminded to check on them and see how they are doing in their grief.   

Have a day of blessings!

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