I plan to write a few posts to share parts of my healing journey. My heart still hurts, and I know that the feeling I have of missing two babies and all we missed with them will always be in my heart. I would like to record these thoughts about things that have helped me through the pain of our miscarriage. I hope by sharing them they will help someone else in their grief or help someone who loves someone going through a similar loss.
One of the things I felt so strongly after the miscarriage was that I was broken. This thought came to my mind over and over again. I felt like my body was just broken. Why did I have a second miscarriage? What is wrong with me? Why can others just have babies without a problem and this is our second loss? I told my husband it felt like something was wrong with me for this to happen again.
At night before I go to bed I always check on our son and kiss him as he sleeps and whisper to him. One of the things I've always said is "you're fearfully and wonderfully made" (from Psalm 139). One night when I said this I thought how this applies to me too. I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. Now whenever the thought comes that "I'm just broken" I remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I know that God made me and cares about my body and all its organs and parts and how they function. I don't know why this happened again and probably never will have an answer to that. It has really helped me as I deal with this though to remember this promise from Psalms that He has made me and to focus on that instead of just feeling broken and hopeless.
Have a day of blessings!