Raindrop day (or evening)

The title of my blog is "Raindrops & Rainbows." Normally I feel like I have "rainbow" type days and weeks. I will admit, though, that last night though was tough. It seemed like everything we told Caleb he wanted to do the opposite and got upset about everything. By bedtime I was worn out and just needed to cry. It is in these times when things start piling up in my heart and I think of all the things I think I'm doing wrong and all the things in my life I think I have to change. I have to be very careful not to let the "F word" start going around in my brain. I get bogged down in "why can't I...." and feel very discouraged. Add to that my tiredness and last night I knew I just needed to go to sleep.


One thing that came to mind during this weariness is how to balance my computer time each day. At one point I was part of a message board where I felt a connection, group closeness I guess, to the women there. I was always amazed at how these women had time to have so many posts each day, commenting on everything anyone posted, and still have time to be a mommy. Then we changed from dial-up to DSL so I saw how it was less time consuming to just pop on leave a comment, and go about the day. About the time I felt I was spending too much time on this board, it broke up and dissolved. I've tried out some other boards since then but am not really into them and don't know the people like I thought I knew the people at this one board. Some of the stories posted on the message boards I could never determine if the women were being honest or were just always "one upping" things that were said to get attention. I questioned their sincerity. I DID make some very good friends on this board, and I continue to value the friendship of these ladies even though we've never met in person.


Now I feel I've gained a new community of support through my blogging friends. I feel these friends are honest and genuine. I feel like I can read people's hearts as I'm reading their posts and get so much encouragement from other wives and moms. I've told my husband before that I appreciate being able to just take a break from whatever I'm doing in my day to check my email. It is nice to have communication with others. My Mom and I write emails back and forth to each other and I like this connection, for example.

Thinking about this last night I felt weighed down, asking myself what ways I need to change my computer habits, trying to figure out how to balance my time and not spend too much time on the computer, figuring out what is enough and what is too much, looking for answers. If you have ever struggled with this, I'd appreciate reading your ideas of things that work for you. It doesn't seem so terrible and heavy in the morning as I was making it out to be last night in my mind, but I still want to see if I can improve in this area.


I am thankful it is a new day. I am thankful that we have our boy to raise and teach as he grows. I realize we all just have bad days sometimes when nothing seems right or good. The verse below was on my calendar today so I wanted to share it. Have a good day!
~~~~~~~~~
"Every morning tell him, 'Thank you for your kindness," and every evening rejoice in all his faithfulness." Psalm 92:2, TLB


"It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night" Psalm 92:1, 2