Book #19: Grace Based Parenting

I finally finished another book! I had this one in my pile from the library for a long time it seems. I had a couple chapters left last week when it was due. I had my husband turn it in on his way to work. Then when we went to eat I had him stop and I ran in and rechecked it. They thought I was silly! I did want to finish reading it though.

This book called Grace Based Parenting is written by Dr. Tim Kimmel. I had read multiple recommendations for this book before checking it out at our library. The author's point is that as parents we should show the same grace to our children that God shows to us. Grace is NOT a license for our children to act anyway they want. The three things he said all humans need are: a secure love, a significant purpose and a strong hope. As parents we can give these to our children with grace. Interspersed through the chapters are stories of incidences with his own children or others he knows that needed grace or were shown grace. It is easy in real life to lose our focus and react instead of respond. In the other chapters he talks about how children need to have the freedom to be different, be vulnerable, be candid, and make mistakes. Our kids need to know they can trust us, that they can come to us with the things that bother them and we won't laugh in their face, that we know them well enough to know their insecurities, that they can talk openly to us and know they can tell US when we mess up. I liked one of the ideas he shared from his own family. They would tell their kids they were having "What's Your Beef?" night and the next night at dinner the kids could openly share with them times they thought they'd messed up as parents. They had rules for this, like the kids couldn't be disrespectful or question their decisions on moral issues. Also the parents had to listen and not try to justify their actions. This helped the kids see that parents mess up sometimes and it is powerful if we will admit this to our kids. He also brings up the need to be consistent in consequences so children know what to expect.

I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to parents.
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"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." Hebrews 13:6